Roeper Alumni Grand Tour

Roeper Alumni Grand Tour July 16, 2012

“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” -Hindstrum referring to the last 3 days. What eloquence for a stuffed squirrel!

Until Sunday night, we were cooking with gas as my mother would say.

Sure, the freeway traffic on Saturday from West LA where we stayed on Friday night to downtown Anaheim was a bit worse than Detroit if you can call a 40 mile parking lot a “bit worse.” But since we gave ourselves lots of time, traffic and getting lost in “The Land of the Mouse Who Makes Tons of Money” didn’t prevent us from arriving in plenty of time to walk around Downtown Disney (a very pleasant and artificial place).

All of a sudden, people started to arrive at our restaurant, Tortilla Jo’s. First was our co-organizer Robyn Scott, ’00, who had been an Orange County resident before Roeper and who still has lots of family ties in the area. She is presently happily teaching in a private school in the area and soon will be opening Blue Rose Education (private art and English as a second language program). She wants me to relay she enjoys Southern California and life in general. She also wants to encourage all Roeper alums to get involved in the RAMP (Roeper Alumni Mentoring Program) as either a mentor for young, college-age folks making the transition out-of-Roeper or as a mentee taking advantage of this program. It’s on FB.

Kevin Watkins, ’97, is living in Redondo Beach with his wife, Motoko, and dog. He works in sales and spends his weekends hiking in the Santa Monica mountains.

Joel Sheiner, ’75, joined us. After being an U of M undergraduate and attending Tulane Medical School, he is an urologist in Southern CA. He lives in Newport Coast, is married and has a step-daughter.

Lee Aundra Keany (Preuss), ’86, and her husband Paul live in Marina Del Ray. Lee Aundra is a communication coach and the founder of Keany Communications. She has a step-son and a dog. Paul is an actor.

Then Gorosh and Phredley walked in. Alex, ’03, is living in LA and is developing “Good Worldwide,” an online magazine and video project for people to share resources and positive things they are doing to build community and establish educational programs. He has, also, been back working on the Detroit Creativity project with Second City. Please check out www.Good.is/, www.Alex.Gorosh.com and www.Good.is/video.

Phred, ’02, is the musical director for the Bruno Mars Band. He is currently off-the-road, songwriting and producing. Please look at http://phredleysetgo.tumblr.com . He lives in West Hollywood.

Mike Hack,’01, the big sweetie, was in and out like a phantom as he took time off from work to see us. He’s a marketing supervisor at Whole Foods and was recently featured on the back cover of the National Whole Foods magazine as the July/August “team member pick”.

Linda Pence does nothing except do everything at these reunions to enable them to run smoothly. From still photography to making video to insuring that people sign in to kicking me under the table when I talk instead of listen, to finding out why Phred’s food hasn’t arrived, Linda just sees what needs to be done and does it, quietly and with grace.

Here are some of photos from this very successful and interesting gathering:

Joel, LeeAundra, and Paul left

LeeAundra, Kevin, Robyn, Emery right

LeeAundra, Hindstrum, Paul left

LeeAundra, Kevin, Emery left

Mike, Phred, Alex right

Our talk as usual at these gatherings was, at first, among small groups of people getting to know each other or catching up. But then we turned to talking about Roeper which always produces a torrent of interesting conversation.

I asked my standard question of what would folks like new Head David Feldman to know about Roeper and their experience there.

I’m not sure who started us off but someone mentioned that the community is so supportive of what individuals are doing and pursuing. All one has to do is ask for help and then tons of support and encouragement are given. In some schools, it seems as if there are roadblocks constantly being constructed but at Roeper, people go out of their way to smooth the path for you to work on your journey.

Phred opined that Roeper is not a place of hard and fast, black and white rules but a place of ambiguity, questioning and working things out case-by-case. Every day the school is evolving, based on a foundation of philosophy and history but being constructed new –organic, living and involving everybody.

Alex added that for him the key words were freedom and balance. He was free to explore, meet new people, try novel experiences and craft his own education but always aware of reality and of needs and rights of other people. The result was relevance in learning and self-direction in attitude. In his career he has followed his passions and he credits that to getting the crucial encouragement at Roeper. To quote him: “I feel I can do anything I want –totally.”

Joel remembered that George was the key for him and others ‘back-in-the-day.’ “George showed a personal interest in and care for me, making me and every kid feel special, worthy and capable.” This resulted in a sense of confidence and empowerment that continues until this day.

Lee Aundra felt one key is that Roeper students are not judged by the metrics by which most kids are evaluated. She hopes that Roeper never succumbs to over-reliance on the general metrics and benchmarks of society. Awareness of them is good but never slavish devotion to them as be-all and end-all. Going further, she argues that the pursuit of happiness as a goal is not “pie-in-the-sky” but the result of kids being helped to identify their own goals, passions and strategies. Roeper isn’t an accelerated school for the gifted but a place where the whole person is nurtured and taught to self-nurture. This includes social and emotional growth. In addition, a key premise is that we are all works-in-progress, always learning and always able to change and grow.

Phred agreed and remembers the John Lennon story of when he was a child and his class was asked to tell their goals. Most kids said things like fireman or lawyer but John said “Happy” and was told that he didn’t understand the question and your goal couldn’t just be “Happy.” John being John told the teacher that the teacher himself didn’t understand for being a fireman, lawyer, musician, bum, whatever was a strategy but the goal is to identify what is your path to happiness and know it is a path without end rather than a final destination.

Robyn chimed about how a specific class and person helped her in thinking about her path. This was the philosophy class with Dave Crawford where it was a safe place to question, argue and dream.

She also remembered that for her, our school was a place for second, third and even fourth chances. People had faith the philosophy would work. And it did. Without Roeper, her life would have been a lot different, a lot sadder. “I was allowed the time to take tiny steps.” And, people took the time to find out who she was. She had authentic relationships with all sorts of people who could help her.

The group agreed that is never about just an individual pursuing passions or happiness in a vacuum. A key is to realize that connecting to others is not only necessary but an end-onto-itself.

Kevin added that at Roeper each person not only was a seeker but a helper for others seeking. We are in it together, not in competition but in collaboration to build ourselves and community. He said he never has felt as loved and accepted as he did at Roeper. He would like to find a community like Roeper but it is very difficult. What is great is that he has an ideal, a template, a vision of what could be and he will look for it and work for it. He won’t settle.

Alex brought up that we all know that everything is not always going to be Roeper-it can’t be. We need to find the best balance at the time and learn to find our own way while recognizing and working with the realities of lives.

Phred mentioned that a key to be used is that of those Roeper connections and relationships. For him after graduating, old teachers and friends gave him energy and support when needed. He feels that the relationships forged at Roeper will always stay strong and vital. I hope that gatherings like this and online efforts will develop new Roeper relationships.

LeeAundra wants us to know she believes that people who haven’t gone to Roeper want a positive, strong community experience and Roeperians can help them create it. We know it can exist and what it takes for it to start to grow. She believes that just the way one treats others can have a profound effect on them and the mini-societies around us. People want to be treated as individuals and with respect and Roeper taught her to do that.

We started talking about schools in the SoCal area that have Roeper-like characteristics. Sagehill in Orange County was suggested as was the Santa Fe Institute. Phred added that schools like Roeper are a hard sell right now as fearful parents want guarantees and the false security of “rigor.” Many believe kids have to be pushed and controlled. Competition and getting ahead are the keys. The kids might need Roeper ,would love it and thrive there but the parents wouldn’t be able to understand it enough to take a leap of faith.

As the oldest person at the table (discounting Linda who is older but looks 15 years younger), I suggested that I was taught as a young person that the goal was to get a job at GM, working 30 years and retire on a good pension. This shibboleth propels people towards security and risk avoidance. The group agreed those days were over (and probably never were as real as we thought they were). Today, the old rules don’t work. Individuals will change careers, move, and constantly have to adjust in all ways. It is a time for opportunity for those willing to manage their own growth, those able to creatively problem-solve, those willing to help and be helped by others and those not scared by the uncertain future but excited by it. In short, a time for folks who have had school and community experiences like Roeper folks have had.

Wonderful afternoon with wonderful people. Afterwards, Hindstrum and we wandered around Downtown Disney. Here are shots of his adventure. Our plucky friend can find adventures and romance anywhere.

Squirrel and The Hat

Hindstrum in front our restaurant

Hindstrum thought dragons are birds so he picked a fight. Unfortunately for the dragon (Disney
also) Hindstrum had his hatchet. The lawyers for Disney will be contacting Dave Fluent, Roeper Business Manager

Another problem occurred when Hindstrum developed a crush on a giant frog. This kind of intra-species romance was too much for conservative Orange County and we were asked to leave the park.

The next day we journeyed on our old friend, California 1, down the coast to San Diego. Awed by the natural beauty and the crazy amount of development, we found our way to our early afternoon gathering at the home of former Roeper teachers Dick and Lori Morrow in Coronado Their children, Susan and Steven, attended Roeper for a while.

Dick and Lori have lived for the last 13 years on a long spit of land between San Diego Bay and the Pacific. Get this; summer temps are always in the mid 70’s and the winter temps are in the mid 60’s. Constant breeze off the ocean.

We had a small group that day. Joel Sheiner had such a good time at the Anaheim gathering he joined us again. Like many Roeper people from the 60’s and 70’s he expressed gratitude and admiration for math teacher Dick and mentioned how Mr. Morrow (before the first name tradition) was the best math teacher ever as he could challenge the advanced students and bring along the even most mathematically challenged. Lori also taught math courses for us and was a substitute.

After Joel came, in came Sue Kellogg-Graf, ’87, and her husband Mike. They live in Mission Viejo in Orange County where Sue owns her own business training horses, doing equestrian massage and other related services. Mike does analytical auto consulting work for a variety of the car companies. Mike is from the suburban Detroit area also and knows of Roeper. Turns out he had Dennis King at Harrison High years ago.

To the right is our gracious host, Lori Morrow

Below is Dick and Joel

The Morrow's dog out of politeness doesn't eat Hindstrum (or it could have been the hatchet)

Mike, Sue & Peripatetic Squirrel

Dick talked about his days at Roeper and some about his 25 years following at DCD. We talked about how close teachers became with their students at Roeper. The barriers between adult and young people were slight enough so people got to know each other in authentic and healthy ways. Cross-age relationships were possible and easy since we were all on one campus. Big kids were constantly working with even the youngest kids. Community duty and tutoring were integral parts of the curriculum.

We talked a lot of the high school trips that Roeper used to have. Apparently, there was a 4 year rotation in which the whole high school went en masse to NYC, DC, Montreal or Boston (sometimes Chicago). Joel remembered the successor format based on affinity group trips. In May people took week long trips to places of their choices so everybody wasn’t doing the same thing. An example of these was canoeing up north (John McConnell and Richard Anderson running it) and camping at Innisfree.

Sue is very happy living and running her business in SoCal but actually toyed with the idea of moving back to Michigan just so her daughter could go to Roeper. She believes that her school experience was so crucial in making her the risk-taking person who knows herself. The acceptance and belief in the individual’s eventual ability to journey down their own road with the help of others were the keys. Also important was the school encouraging the child to ask themselves “Who am I and who do I want to be?”

Joel added that true character education is not about an authority instilling values as much as it an environment allowing folks to grow. Roeper would be heard to duplicate but it knows that true character is revealed when one is not profiting from an exchange. In other words, it is when you treat people for who they are or could be not because of how you can profit from how you deal with them.

Dick brought up how unique Roeper was in how the high school kids felt and feel about the school. This deep love and devotion for one’s school he never saw at DCD. It is strong and unique and is a reflection of how the kids were treated.

Sue remembered how Mariann was the heart of the school while Joel and Dick agreed and also suggested the role of Jimmy and Vi in being moral leaders of the school.

To illustrate the tolerance and non-conformity that Roeper offered in those earlier days, folks remembered the example of how Rick Murray and Lennie Pitt represented Roeper on a car float in a Birmingham parade as homecoming king and queen.

The idea that Roeper was and is a community of learners was discussed. Linda recounted how Aaron Briedenbau & Terry Yee taught her rocketry and she taught lots of kids and me and I taught lots of kids and Wendy, current M.S. science teacher and so on. As Saul Hansell once said (and now quoted on bumper stickers and t-shirts) “No one too small to contribute or too big to listen.”

Lori contributed that every opportunity to teach conflict resolution and problem-solving was taken. She recounted how teachers would take lots of time and show infinite patience in helping kids talk to each other to work things out. This seemed, at times, to be the curriculum as opposed to being a distraction from the curriculum.

All of us agreed it takes the right kind of students, parents and teachers to work well here. It’s not as if people have to be perfect Roeperians upon coming here (I am fond of saying that “George Roeper wasn’t even George Roeper”) but they do have to be open to growth, taking some risks and openly dealing with others.

There was consensus that it was not so much the formal articulation of the Philosophy that was crucial but that day-to-day living of it such as how classes are taught and how the community dealt with problems that was important. I agree but think it important that we do articulate and explain that the basic tenets of the Philosophy – the self-actualization of the individual in a communal context – result in the roots and shoots of that Philosophy - the respect, the relationships, the safety, the freedom, the celebration of diversity, etc. – be recognized and always be held in high consciousness so new generations can preserve and grow the Philosophy.

The happy crew after hours of discussion that flew past.

We had to break off the gathering as it went an hour longer than planned and we needed to get going towards Phoenix if we were to get there before midnight. It was hard leaving the gentle, cool breezes coming off the Pacific for the heat of Arizona but we were pulled on by the lure of seeing people and the beauty of the desert and mountains. We figured that going across the desert in the evening might be a tad cooler. About 50 miles west of Yuma (in the most “desertish?” “deserty?” of places) we finally found a rest stop and so we decided to stop and make supper. Luckily, ( you will see why this was lucky in a few seconds) they didn’t have picnic tables so we pressed on to eat at a restaurant in Yuma. Our first choice (Golden Corral) had us looking in and leaving as soon as we walked in the door. Back to the van to look for someplace else and … the van wouldn’t start. The ignition was not engaging. Hoping it was something to do with driving across 104 degree desert at 80 mph, we decided to let it cool off as we found food. When a cheerful waitress asked us how “you’all are doin’?”, we told her and the next thing the manager, another employee and a restaurant patron were out working on the car. It was their opinion that it was just the battery. We were reluctant to jump it because although we have successfully done it before, one time in doing so we fried the electronic circuitry (yes, we had the cables on the correct posts). It was recommended by our committee of amateur mechanics to call AAA and let them do it. We did. Our next would-be rescuer, tow-trucker operator George, was sure it was the battery (we still weren’t convinced) but after he jumped it and tried the key himself he announced:

1) It was the electronic ignition switch and

2)Nobody in Yuma would have the ability (skills and equipment) to fix it. He was the 23 year veteran daytime service manager of an Accura Dealership, one of the two places in town to work on foreign cars, and assured us that any attempt to do it in town would just prolong the agony and cost.

We asked him what we could do. He said we would have to have it towed to Phoenix at 5 dollars a mile and 200 miles (do the math) although the good news is AAA would pay for the first 5 miles. When we started breathing again, we asked for another option. He thought and thought and thought and said we could rent a U-Haul truck and pull it on a trailer.

By this time we retreated to the nearest motel and whipped out our smartphones and computer and figured out enough of a plan that we could get some sleep. After waking we had a most unusual day remarkable for how calm we were, how many strange snafus occurred, and how nice and helpful people were. Getting the car pushed on the trailer by hand involved the two employees of the U-Haul agency, the new tow truck operator, some passersby I recruited, Linda and me and we barely got it up. So, after tons of paperwork and our credit card being heavily used, we started across the desert at 55 in a huge, empty truck pulling a trailer with a van. Luckily, only one mountain range and one train that stopped on the tracks for a half-an-hour and 4 hours later we got to metro Phoenix only to miss where we were supposed to turn and drive 15 miles too far. Back to Scottsdale where we pulled it to a huge VW/Hyundai/Chrysler-Dodge dealership and found we were in the wrong service side and would have to back it up through a crowded parking lot of new cars. Have you ever backed up a huge truck with separate trailer? It seems like no matter which way you turn the wheel, it’s wrong. This was the only truly stressful part of the whole adventure(we stopped thinking about the credit card bill). Onto to other side of the dealership big enough for its own zipcode only to be told we would have to … back it up through another crowded parking lot of new cars and take it back to park in a crowded parking lot of cars being serviced. They wanted it parallel parked a few inches from another car. Then the miracle happened – I started to get the knack of backing up a trailer. You can’t think about it as it is counterintuitive. One I was “one with the trailer” it got better. By this time, a whole crew of dealership employees was there to give conflicting advice (Arizona has lots of very friendly people). Finally, time to push the van backwards off the trailer as I try to steer it without power steering and brakes and not off the side of the ramps into the Nissan parked 5 inches away. Done and we jumped for joy. Linda rented a car, I returned the U-Haul truck and trailer (couldn’t find the drop-off place so had to navigate through rush-hour traffic). But we did it in good humor and patience. We now are waiting to see how long it will take the van to be fixed. A special order of the part from the factory, in Europe, is likely.

Here is Hindstrum wanting to "surf" on the trailer from Yuma to Phoenix. We let him and he got to edge of the U-Haul lot before falling. At least he had the opportunity to try.