Grand Tour Phoenix, Santa Fe & The Great Southwest (posted on July 22 in Denver)

Dealing with Adversity – 3 approaches from 3 travelers.

Linda:  Stay cool and calm and don’t panic.  Figure something out.  Things usually work out

Emery:  Ask for help.  People want to assist.

Hindstrum:  Hatchets usually help.

When we last left you, we were preparing for the Phoenix area gathering and awaiting news on how many weeks it was going to take to have our friends at Chapman VW get the part from Germany. We explained to Pete, the service manager, our important mission of meeting old friends of Roeper and spreading news of our school and community across America.   On Thursday morning we received word that the Roeper gospel van would be ready by 3:00 and we would be more or less on schedule.

Here is Kyle, the guy who did the auto magic despite the hindrance of having Hindstrum trying to help using his hatchet.

In regards to the gathering at Jared and Peggy Klein’s home in Scottsdale, their unbelievably beautiful home with its terraces and spectacular views was a lovely setting for our reunion. Jared is at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale and working in hematology and oncology.  Peggy is doing interesting work in civic engagement with the Sandra Day O’Connor House.  The basic assumptions of this group are that we must, as a society, find common ground and we must get people engaged in civic affairs again.  With grassroots in civic education and networking they are working with both children and adults.  Exciting and much-needed stuff.  

They have a dignified gentleman of a dog named Bob who you can see below “playing” with Hindstrum.

H

"Help! I knew  I should have brought my hatchet."

Caryn Alexander Martinez, ’81, is married to Alex and has a daughter Lisa who is a microbiology major at ASU.  Caryn owns A.F. MarCom (Angelique & Friends Marketing Communications (web content/writing/editing/social media/tutoring).  She would love to talk to Roeperians about the San Jose,CA area.  Please connect with her on Facebook or Twitter: @afmarcom    You can email her at info.@afmarcom.com

 Emery and Caryn

Alex (Cibby) Cybulski,’00, has, since Roeper, moved around a fair bit - from an English
Undergraduate at Michigan State University, to a substitute
teacher/librarian in Kalamazoo, to working as a manager in bookstores
of various stripes in the greater Phoenix area in Arizona.
Currently, he has been doing what he has spent the past several years aiming to
do – he’s a full time Librarian working for the Queen Creek Library in
Arizona (just north of Phoenix). Here is Alex telling the rest of his story:

“I'm a generalist Librarian, which means I'm fortunate enough
to do a bit of everything. Story times, volunteer coordination, adult
programming, merchandising and displays are all part of my
responsibilities.

While Arizona might not be my permanent resting spot, I've built a
very strong crew around me (disturbingly Roeperian at times, truth be
told) and have just purchased my first home. All in all, I'm about as
happy as I can be.”

Journeying all the way down from Flagstaff were Arria Petke, ’06, and Matt Suo, ’04.  Married a few years back, they are both working at All Ways Health, PLLC and enjoy living in the scenic beauty and cultural diversity of Flagstaff at the base of the San Francisco Peaks.

Matt, Arria and host Jared

The most unusual connection came with Moira Lynn.   A few weeks ago, Peggy was walking Bob (or was it Bob walking Peggy?) in her complex and she meet another person with her puppy.   They had stopped and chatted times before.   This time Peggy mentioned something about returning to Michigan and Moira mentioned she came from Michigan.    She asked Peggy where she had lived and Peggy responded “Bloomfield Hills” and Moira responded she had gone to elementary school in Bloomfield Hills.  Peggy asked where and Moira responded “City and Country School.” (our old name).  Peggy thought she meant DCD and said her kids had gone to Roeper.  They realized they were talking about the same school and Peggy invited her to the reunion.   Anyways, Moira who went to Roeper from 1955-61 attended Tuesday evening.  Presently, she is the founder and president of Forward Motion Counseling, LLC, a company dedicated to helping people achieve realistic hope, profound psychological healing, and lifelong emotional growth.  Her website is www.forwardmotioncounseling.com

Peggy and Mara right

The Group:  Clockwise from bottom left:  Arria, Matt, Moira, Jared, Peggy, Caryn, Alex (Cibby), Emery

The following is from the end of the gathering when Bob and Hindstrum have made peace:

Our talk about Roeper started organically at dinner without my usual prompting questions.  The ideas, recollections and opinions came so fast and furious that I barely could keep up with my note-taking.  Linda did video-taping with the IPad and we will get that online once we get back home and have time (and some training) to edit it.  Here is the sketchiest of summaries:

Arria said Roeper saved her life.   She was suicidal upon coming to our school.  It is the main reason she still is here.  People gave her such respect and understanding that she felt safe and at home so she could start to heal and then to grow.  She loved the high academics and belonging to a close-family of misfits.

Moira gave the reasons she thought the school could do its magic.  1) She wanted to especially single out George Roeper who knew everybody at school.   He worked at knowing everybody in school.  Hands-on administrator and a great visionary rolled into one. 2) The campus itself played a role in developing children.  You had freedom to wander, be free, commune with nature, get away from people when needed, and talk privately. 3) The faculty had amazing teachers who not only knew the kids but understood that the education was more than just imparting skills and facts.  She couldn’t praise Norma Carter and Charlotte Whitney enough.

Matt said Roeper was his home.  Both free blocks and afterschool gave him time to hang out with teachers and feel their personal care for him.  The openness of the faculty was remarkable.  Teachers wanted to know you and always had time for you.

Arria agreed and said some of her teachers like Dave Crawford actually came to her house.  When his students heard of his passing, it was like losing a member of your family even though it had been years since she and her friends had had any contact.

Caryn wanted to reiterate what Matt had said.  In her day, everybody, adult and student, was important.  You didn’t have to love everybody but everybody had a role and was valued.  Facebook has helped her get back in touch with people.

Moira thought the positive atmosphere was partly because of the non-competitive environment.  George, Annemarie and the teachers found ways to authentically honor and build up every student.

Arria agreed that there was a lack of external pressure forces like comparing students to other students.  It was like yoga – you were encouraged to work on you - not try to be somebody else.

Matt chimed in that the education seemed less forced and more growing organically of what the students wanted and needed.

Then Moira thrilled my heart as she talked about “I & Thou” – Martin Buber’s term for individuals respecting their differences and approaching each other as separate and equal to work together to create the future.

Caryn remembered that in the US she was able to design her own academic track and “own” her education.  This is important because it builds confidence and lessens passivity.  If nothing else, colleges are looking for self-starters.

Arria supported Caryn by recounting how she was a young 17 when she went to college and she felt both academically and emotionally ready to do well and she did.

Alex told how he had come from a public school and was hopelessly bored by school.  He found respect, encouragement, and healthy relationships.  This school seemed to invest time and energy in individuals and those individuals grew to help others.  There are always those that need a lot more support at times and it just seemed to always be there when needed.   When he “came out” as gay, Butch Ashman, Janice Haines, Dean Acheson, and Dave Crawford were there for him and were instrumental in helping him deal with it.  They helped make it safe so he could learn just to be Alex.  He found the staff to rejoice when he did well, supportive when needed, compassionate, willing to have healthy relationships, patient, and focused on helping him find himself and to grow.

Moira reminded us how important Roeper as an island of diversity in the 1950’s was.  Diversity was prized.  Always organic, never forced or “P.C.”, it was natural and a way people grew to value differences almost without noticing.

Peggy recounted the series of coincidences which resulted in her eldest child, Daniel, coming to Roeper.  She also wanted to praise the English teachers at Roeper, especially Mary Kay Glazek, who prepared her boys so well for college work.

On and on it went with me answering questions about Roeper today.  Caryn wanted to make sure that the flexible scheduling and ability to create short, intensive high school mini-classes was still present at Roeper. I told her that we didn’t have 3 week mini-classes as Roeper once did but did have many independent studies, kids taking online classes and the George Roeper senior projects opportunities.  The emphasis is still on smoothing the road for students pursuing their passions rather than putting up roadblocks.

Hours passed and folks had to go but I encouraged them to email David Feldman (david.feldman@roeper.org) directly with any ideas or memories.  And, of course, I invited them to drop by when in town and to join the various Roeper Facebook and LinkedIn groups.  I explained RAMP and RASC and urged them to join up and/or create their own initiatives to reconnect with Roeper.     

Lastly, the idea of affinity reunions came up.  We and Matt are toying with a six-square themed reunion ( originally suggested by Zach Silverman, 2012) on the Birmingham campus.  And, why not an Arkona reunion?

 Arizona beyond the Gathering:  The next day after the gathering at the Kleins, we had some time until our friends at Chapman could have the car ready.    I wanted to take Linda to the best Native American history and culture institution in the world- the Heard Museum.  If you ever find yourself in the Valley of the Sun, you absolutely have to spend at least a couple of hours there. We were sitting on a bench and looked up to see the quote which we believe has a lot of resonance for all Roeperians:

“We are on a path together at the same time, generations traveling together.  My past and future are at my side; you are never too far from your past or future.” Kathy Sanchez, San Idelfonso Tewa (northern New Mexico Pueblo)

We couldn’t take photos inside but here are some shots of Hindstrum enjoying art in the Heard Museum courtyards.

Left:This piece represents the traditional women of Arizona's Native American tribes.

Below is Hindstrum who thought he was conquering a dragon but he didn't understand the concept of art.

After we got the van back, it was up the Black Canyon Freeway towards Flagstaff.  We spent the night camped in beautiful Sedonna/Oak Creek below, left and right.

The next day we headed to my old stomping grounds on the Hopi and Navajo Reservations.  We visited my school at Hotevilla on Third Mesa and found that some of the Hopi teachers I taught with are still around. Below is Second Mesa left and Hindstrum making friends again right

As we travelled across northeastern AZ, Linda was amazed by the wide-open spaces, the aridness and the stark beautiful landscape.   I was a bit scared that I had overdone talking about how Canyon De Chelly was even more amazing than the Grand Canyon and that Linda would be disappointed.  She wasn’t.

Spider Woman Rock in Canyon De Chelly

Hindstrum following in the tradition of Amanda, Linda and David standing too close to a 800 foot drop and scaring me silly.

Continuing through Navajo, it was one spectacular view after another until we ate dinner at Window Rock(the Dine capital) and I got my Navajo Taco (AKA Hopi Taco, depending with whom you are sitting )

Above right is the only photo Hindstrum took on the trip:

That night we camped at Blue Lake Campground in the red rock country of New Mexico. 

Hindstrum meets Hogan Hulk right

                                                                and  New Mexican horses near our campsite
 

Santa Fe: We stayed with Marlita Reddy and her husband Eric at their beautiful home in the high desert country outside the city. 

Marlita has for her “pay-the-bills” job working for Hewlitt-Packard, telecommuting back to Pontiac working on the GM account doing data integration.  But her love and passion is something I had never heard of – Social Media & Emergency Management(SMEM).  Volunteers like her have  groups of public officials they are attached to.  Marlita has 3 government fire teams she works with (and once in a while helps with others).   When a fire hits, she uses social media to connect the public officials and the public.  She gets information from people to the officials and tells the public what the officials want them to know and gets resources to both.  When a major wildfire occurs, she might spend up to 100 hours with Facebook, Twitter and texting managing info and getting connections going.  Her work might extend to helping victims of wildfire recover after the event.   When not managing a crisis, she and others prepare protocols and systems for the next big event.  She feels that her work helping people get information while building community is very Roeperian.  She urges alums to consider volunteering for this kind of work as it can be done from anywhere someone can get on-line.

Eric is a computer programmer and project manager for Altair Engineering in Troy.  He also, obviously, telecommutes. Like Marlita, his love and passion is in volunteer service work.  He is the New Mexico President of the Search and Rescue Council.  He trains volunteers to rescue people who get lost and/or injured in the wild areas of this state in addition to leading search and rescue missions himself.  Saturday morning he was up early to lead a training high up in the mountains north of Santa Fe.

We hadn’t heard of anybody planning to come but these gathering do, sometimes, have people showing up (or sometimes not showing up) irregardless of RSVP’ing.   It turned out to be us having dinner with Marlita and Eric.  Eating at a Kenyan restaurant (Santa Fe is quite cosmopolitan for a city its size) we talked and talked about what they are doing and about Roeper.  Marlita and we continued the next morning at breakfast.

She believes Roeper taught her it is her duty to speak up when she sees something that isn’t right.  She remembers when in the early 70’s in 7^th grade, students were upset with the too-open and unstructured educational atmosphere so a committee of students (including Marlita) was chosen by the class to go talk to George asking for a change.   George not only listened and asked pertinent questions, he took action to rectify the situation.  This empowering experience and others like it helped her develop the confidence and self-expectation to speak truth to power.

Marlita is passionate about the need for Roeper to continue having discussions and classes about the philosophy.  She came up with an idea that I am going to pursue.   Why not ask current Roeperians and alums to write in stories and examples of how the Roeper philosophy was demonstrated either at school or in the greater world?  These examples would be related back to the central two tenets of the philosophy, the journey of individuals to find their own paths while in a communal context (healthy individuals and healthy community) with their “roots and shoots” – respect, relationships, empowerment, celebration of diversity, freedom, social justice and collaboration.   These short vignettes and their relating discussion might be posted on a website or even published into a book. 

Ideas just came pouring out from Marlita.  Why not a Roeper online peer network of bartering?  If someone from a community had a skill or area of expertise that could help another, he or she could offer it for free or for bartering to another.   Example:  you have some computer skills and you want to start a small program tutoring disadvantaged kids in technology.  But you didn’t know anything about grant-writing.   You might to trade some computer work or instruction to someone who could help you write the grant to get your tutoring program going.  The first step would be establish a data bank of skills, hobbies, professions, interests, passions, areas of service, etc. and get that online so people could see what other Roeperians have to offer.

Related to this and to her request for Roeper people to volunteer for her social media and emergency management work, is Marlita’s idea that all of the Roeperians who are doing or running volunteer programs should make it known to the current and alumni communities.   Getting good people to help has been a challenge.  But she has found that Roeper folks are usually able to be flexible, they have a good work ethic, they can problem-solve and if they commit, they will follow-through.  And, with modern technology, distance seems less an issue.

We asked Marlita where and how at Roeper people learned how to adjust, be flexible and deal.  She opined that multi-tasking comes somewhat from the quick minds and intensity of the gifted but also from the informal casualness of the school.  A rough paraphrase of what she said is: “No one was obsessed with making me pay attention; they just made sure I had interesting and relevant things to think about and do.  We were given space to figure things out.  We weren’t micro-managed or spoon-fed.  We were respected enough so people assumed we could analyze, try and adapt and then analyze, try and adapt. It was safe to try and learn from any mistakes.  And, we had opportunities to work with and learn from others.”

When I asked her what she wanted David Feldman to know, she ventured the following:

“Roeper looks like it is stronger academically in a traditional-sense than when I was there.  It looks like the base education of skills and facts is being better covered.  Things look less open-classroom and a bit more directed.  But Roeper should never forget that education is a search for meaning.  Also, Roeper was founded to help work for a better society.  Our living Philosophy has to be focused not just on getting kids in good colleges, not just on helping gifted kids fit in, not just about the individual.  When I was 10, I was writing letters for Amnesty International trying to get Alexander Solzhenitsyn out of the gulag.   I was being taught that I could make a difference and that I should make a difference.   Are Roeper students getting that message today?  What are they doing to make the world a better place and to live up to the mission of George and Annemarie?

Marlita’s question is for all of us to think about.

On to Denver:   After breakfast, we started north out of Santa Fe, through Taos and over the mountains into the amazingly beautiful wide-open spaces of northern New Mexico and then along the front range to Denver.   We are staying with my old family friend Barb Najarian in Denver looking forward to the Denver reunion this afternoon.  Here’s the schedule for the rest of the Grand Tour:

Denver & Front Range:  Chad’s Grille, 275 Union Blvd., Lakewood, CO.  5:00-8:00 PM on Sunday, July 22.

Lawrence, Kansas:  (Please call me at 248-230-0466 if interested in this gathering at the Bistak’s), July 24.

St. Louis:  Boathouse Restaurant in Forest Park, 6101 Government Dr., St. Louis.  6:00-8:00 on July 25